For this recipe, I used a couple of potatoes, shaved Parmesan Cheese, butter, dill, brown sauce mix, English ham (replacement for Bacon), pepper, whipped cream (not seen here).

Of course, start of by peeling off the potato skin and sending them to boil! I cube my potatoes so that they cook faster and depending on the size of the cubes, will take 20-30 minutes long.

In the mean time, if u have streaky bacon, good for you! I had to work with ham seeing that I didn't want to waste my ham. Most hams would work as an excellent replacement for bacon once friend except those that have been processed to the spam, salami or sandwich type of texture. Just sent them on the pan with some butter.

The main thing about this yum-yum mashed dish is the great balance of whipped potato texture + chunk + parmesan cheese. I allocated about 1/3 of the cooked potatoes aside to make the chunks, the rest, i whipped it in with a generous dollup of butter in a bowl adding a quarter cup of whipped cream when it's almost done to give it that whipped texture. With a fork Icrushed the remainder 1/3 potatoes leaving it just the right size to have 1 to three chunks in each bite.

Don't put in the Parmesan shavings yet cause Parmesan has a tendency to melt and the stringy texture will not go along well with the entire dish.

The Portobello Mushroom was something I decided to add on since I've replaced the actual black pepper sauce with brown sauce (Still being a cheat and using Brown Sauce mix). cutting up a couple of shrooms, I added them in to the brown sauce mix, a little dill too and allowed it to cool.

When everything has just cooled just about as much, I toss in the shaved Parmesan (shaved not grated!) in between the mash, Slatheredit in thick gooey sauce and sprinkled the fried meat on top.

Flippin' sinful I tell u

          

Now, I am that one kind of girl who truly enjoys a whole basket of steamed pork dumplings all to herself. I can down 3 or 4 baskets in one seating too, which really depends on my appetite.

Dad was complaining about how much I eat (oh he fears that his daughter won't get married because of her frightening ravenous hunger when meal time comes to play) and mom's friend drops me a friendly slap in the but as I appear more than nonchalant about it.

A slap on the streets of Jalan Telawi(s), and then my mom and her friend seem to be trigger happy slapping the cheeks of my butt.

''GIRL...." auntie goes...

''SO SOFT! better go and exercise" *slap slap*

*mom slaps* "Aiyoh girl, people slap your bum or see your bum, people will thing you 'kena' (get) banged alot oh! " *slap* "Correct or not auntie?" *slap*

*auntie slaps again* " Yah better exercise adi lu"

Now..all that slap wasn't really necessary, but the moment close relations start comparing my physical outlook to that of a professional courtesan, I flipped!

Mom had to rub in ..."Some more you wear these kind of pants...short, short, people can see your saggy bum"

My favourite pair of shorts too -_-"

I spent the rest of the evening trying to hide my buttocks from plain sight. How unnecessary and uncalled for. This is the bloody first time I've ever heard that ladies get a flat butt from sleeping around too much. Not that I have experience, but I thought sexual intercourse was a form of exercise that is supposed to keep you fit.
Geez...now I really have to start doing squats, lunges and god knows what to put some cushion back into my whore-like ass some seriously flat back tires .

I REALLY DESPISE EXERCISE! I'll try to moan and groan less about working out. If anyone meets me after this post, it would do you much good if you PLEASE don't observe me bum for a while.

          

As I grew up, there were of course, several schools (mom, grandmom's, aunts and nannies had their own way) of thought to toilet etiquette and conduct (regardless if you were in the presence of others or not). I thought I always had it right... until I unintentionally flashed more than decent flesh at one point of my life of tertiary education.

How could I ever reveal so much without noticing? Let me illustrate...

Several debates over the mamak table have ended in 'The dump goes straight in the hole'.  Sure...males and females take a dump the same way. But what if we pee?

Guess my way would be more feasible for the pee to get right in the hole! But wait..if a man really had to go pee in a squat toilet...which way does he actually face... *ponders*

I've also always had this fear of getting my foot stuck in such a gaping hole in the ground.Hanging my ass over the seemingly bottomless abyss  would actually increase the chances of such, thus I prefer to have everything in front of me. We've got to minimise such risks you know....

I'm also a pretty lazy person. Doing it the normal way would mean I would have to perform such actions in sequence.
1) shut the door

2) TURN

3) aim and estimate for feet positioning

4) TURN

5) do my business

6) TURN

7)  Flush remnants

TURN

9) Exit stall
My way seems to have simplified things... think of all the time you'll save not having to turn so much and do all that topographical planning on feet placement

1) close door

2) TURN

3) Do business

4) Flush

5) TURN

6) Exit stall

So there is a reason why I was given directions to use the squat toilet as so