Verves In Composition

There are people in this world, who expect you to relate to their situation when they are in need of a reason to let it all out.

Then there are people who practically force you to comply with action with pushy justifications and ‘guilt’ buttons.

Worse still they condone their own behavior towards you for something you didn’t do.Bear in mind, it’s really not about ‘Siapa termakan cili, dia yang terasa pedas‘ (Malay proverb for - He who eats chilli will taste it’s spicyness (fiery-ness))

However, with all this social ‘conditioning’ sometimes, where do you draw the lines between sincerity and conformity? I don’t mind giving a helping hand every so often, but what really is the point when at the end of the day, the people that you have helped don’t learn to stand on their own two feet? Even when it comes to friendship sometimes, gosh, you’re not being a real friend if you keep dragging your friend to wallow and drown in your misery.

Then again, I do have civic skills and I’m definitely born with a head and heart good enough to know that it’s not wise to leave the old lady crossing the street alone. I’m not some haughty nasty who just wants to stay out of your radar, you only have yourself to blame for the problems in your life.

Some of us were born lucky, but being born under a shiny star doesn’t mean you don’t encounter difficulty either. We’re human. Never perfect.
Forget perfectionism. Then again If you truly have a remarkable personality as you think you do (seen it all, done it all); A tough childhood, a disease, a maelstrom of bad luck does not ever entitle you to be an individual leeching of others when and as you see fit. (Neither when you have factual backup and credit that you are a great person) That’s just an excuse.

You never know if the person you are talking to has had seen more than your eye has met.

Seriously. Think about it.

It’s funny, now that I recollect it…. how a simple dinner of dumplings with the family could lead to some shameful public display of affection and eventually life changing events.

Now, I am that one kind of girl who truly enjoys a whole basket of steamed pork dumplings all to herself. I can down 3 or 4 baskets in one seating too, which really depends on my appetite.

Dad was complaining about how much I eat (oh he fears that his daughter won’t get married because of her frightening ravenous hunger when meal time comes to play) and mom’s friend drops me a friendly slap in the but as I appear more than nonchalant about it.

A slap on the streets of Jalan Telawi(s), and then my mom and her friend seem to be trigger happy slapping the cheeks of my butt.

‘’GIRL….” auntie goes…

‘’SO SOFT! better go and exercise” *slap slap*

*mom slaps* “Aiyoh girl, people slap your bum or see your bum, people will thing you ‘kena’ (get) banged alot oh! ” *slap* “Correct or not auntie?” *slap*

*auntie slaps again* ” Yah better exercise adi lu”

Now..all that slap wasn’t really necessary, but the moment close relations start comparing my physical outlook to that of a professional courtesan, I flipped!

Mom had to rub in …”Some more you wear these kind of pants…short, short, people can see your saggy bum”

My favourite pair of shorts too -_-”

I spent the rest of the evening trying to hide my buttocks from plain sight. How unnecessary and uncalled for. This is the bloody first time I’ve ever heard that ladies get a flat butt from sleeping around too much. Not that I have experience, but I thought sexual intercourse was a form of exercise that is supposed to keep you fit.
Geez…now I really have to start doing squats, lunges and god knows what to put some cushion back into my whore-like ass some seriously flat back tires .

I REALLY DESPISE EXERCISE! I’ll try to moan and groan less about working out. If anyone meets me after this post, it would do you much good if you PLEASE don’t observe me bum for a while.

I really worry I wake up having to burst my cranium open with a hacksaw to dig for ideas on designs.

Thankfully, reminding myself of Khai Tzer’s bright Hawaiian pants has given me some inspiration. (Your groupie still thinks of you often KT,…or your bright pants… wahahahaha!)

I’ll put them up soon on the Vanity Vault

In all my 2 decades plus years of upbringing, I have kept to my own ways of squat toilet usage. It’s very much like the way you were taught to hold your pencil, a very signature style of your very own performed with the most habitual of mannerisms.

As I grew up, there were of course, several schools (mom, grandmom’s, aunts and nannies had their own way) of thought to toilet etiquette and conduct (regardless if you were in the presence of others or not). I thought I always had it right… until I unintentionally flashed more than decent flesh at one point of my life of tertiary education.

How could I ever reveal so much without noticing? Let me illustrate…

Whoever squats like me, IS SURE TO NOT KNOW if the door behind is REALLY securely shut.
Thus my question now is asides from the fact that it has no complete benefit to visual dignity to squat the way i do,…Why the heck do we squat the way we do? Hmmm..

Several debates over the mamak table have ended in ‘The dump goes straight in the hole‘.  Sure…males and females take a dump the same way. But what if we pee?

Guess my way would be more feasible for the pee to get right in the hole! But wait..if a man really had to go pee in a squat toilet…which way does he actually face… *ponders*

I’ve also always had this fear of getting my foot stuck in such a gaping hole in the ground.Hanging my ass over the seemingly bottomless abyss  would actually increase the chances of such, thus I prefer to have everything in front of me. We’ve got to minimise such risks you know….

I’m also a pretty lazy person. Doing it the normal way would mean I would have to perform such actions in sequence.
1) shut the door

2) TURN

3) aim and estimate for feet positioning

4) TURN

5) do my business

6) TURN

7)  Flush remnants

8) TURN

9) Exit stall
My way seems to have simplified things… think of all the time you’ll save not having to turn so much and do all that topographical planning on feet placement

1) close door

2) TURN

3) Do business

4) Flush

5) TURN

6) Exit stall

So there is a reason why I was given directions to use the squat toilet as so